Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test ...

4- the Individualist

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you chose BY - your Enneagram type is FOUR (aka "The Romantic")

 

"I am unique"

 

Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
• Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
• Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
• Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
• Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being a FOUR

• my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
• my ability to establish warm connections with people
• admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
• my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
• being unique and being seen as unique by others
• having aesthetic sensibilities
• being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being a FOUR

• experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
• feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
• feeling guilty when I disappoint people
• feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
• expecting too much from myself and life
• fearing being abandoned
• obsessing over resentments
• longing for what I don't have

FOURs as Children Often

• have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games
• are very sensitive
• feel that they don't fit in
• believe they are missing something that other people have
• attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
• become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized ornot understood
• feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

FOURsas Parents

• help their children become who they really are
• support their children's creativity and originality
• are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
• are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
• are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

More in detail

General characteristics

The desire to create and seek meaning is emphasized in the Individualist. They are emotionally driven, passionate people, who want to be recognized as special and distinguished from others. They are, at their best, compassionate, empathetic, and refined. This often leads them to artistic endeavors of various sorts, or alternatively, to relationships that would bring them intense feelings whether sublime or despairing. On the other hand, their emotional turbulances and excess fantasizing can cause difficulties with living in the moment, often wallowing in the past and obsessing over the future, chronic dissatisfaction and depression often result, as well as conflicts with others.

[edit] Motivations

Passion / Fixation: Envy

Basic Fear: "To have no identity and personal significance". Personal identity is felt tentatively by Fours, which they compensate by cultivating a fantasy or ideal self that would in one way or another define them. They fear ordinariness.

Basic Desire: 'To find themselves and their significance'. Fours heighten their experience with imagination and emotional reactions. They see beauty in suffering, and will hold on painful moods if those give them meaning.

Parental Orientation: Disconnected from both parents, since "neither can understand". Creates longing in self for a "good parent" - a saviour - who can understand them. It is not that fours do not want to express their feelings, they just want someone to discover them; and frequently make people work too hard to find out what they are.

[edit] Personal theme

From a very early age Fours felt singled out by others. They see the various personal qualities others have that are not given to them, which causes them to focus on absence, on differences and on personal alienation. They are the gray ducklings poked fun of by their bright-feathered peers and abandoned by their parents. They are the orphans and outcasts.

In time, however, they began to feel that they are singled out for a reason. They interpreted their alienation and suffering as evidence of their finer sensibilities. Even their personal defects, which in the beginning tormented them, are now worn as marks of pride. In their psychic recesses, however, there remains an emptiness longing to be filled by another and it is that emptiness, that tension between lack and fulfillment, which drives Fours in a search for meaning and personal identity. Unfortunately, given their fixations on fantasy and comparison with others, this search can often feel and become fruitless.

[edit] Wings

[edit] Fours with a dominant Three wing

When healthy they can be both successful and inspired. They leave a personal touch in all the works they do while maintaining some connection with the larger world. They enjoy public attention but are also committed to private self-exploration.

When more average they can be provocative and eager to make their place in the world, whether through art or life. Their emotional turbulances are more on the surface than the more withdrawn Fours with a dominant Five wing. Even though they want to withdraw, their desire to earn their place can keep them in the game. They place value on aesthetics, and in addition to working hard (the 3 wing), they can be self-indulgent, too. They can also resemble sevens in their love of luxury and pleasure. Unlike Sevens, however, they don't seek sensations just to have them, but rather as another accessory to their fantasy identity. They tend to "hide away" once the problems with self-image catch up with them. They can also be competitive, and feel like they have to prove themselves to have a place in the world. Their four "withdrawal" and three "achievement" motivators can create conflicting needs for them.

When unhealthy, they can have pronounced issues with self-image and shame. As much as they want to connect with others and feel good about themselves, their withdrawal, feelings of defectiveness, and inability to release feelings of longing can keep them stuck in painful situations.

[edit] Fours with a dominant Five wing

When healthy, they bring profound creativity and insights of an intrapsychic kind. Their emotions are more under the surface than Fours with dominant Three wing and more private modes of communication (such as writing) are preferred. They have intellectual as well as emotional insights and can often synthesize experiences into something intensely personal yet timeless.

When more average they are devoted to cultivation of a personal worldview, often by philosophical or artistic means. They are more likely than those with a dominant Three wing to be reclusive and out of touch with the greater social world and to compensate they may adopt unconventional or eccentric ways of life. They can be purposefully obscure and enigmatic in their expressions and then have an elitist and contemptuous view of those who failed to understand them. They tend to withdraw for prolonged periods under stress which can leave them further isolated. As a result they are prone to hallucinatory states and total alienation.

When unhealthy, they can inhabit a terrifying fantasy-world of their own creation. Their emotional torments are turned inward, causing severe depression and self-destructive thoughts. When average they may romanticize death but when unhealthy they may plunge into it.

[edit] Instinctual subtypes

Self-preservation

On the average levels, Self-preservation Fours are the most practical of the Four instinctual subtypes. They are very concerned with the mood, atmosphere and beauty of their surroundings, and can become tenacious in meeting those needs. They often have an aesthetic focus, are devoted to high-quality physical or emotional experiences, and can become frustrated if "the shades are off" their ideal. Some have a reckless streak, taking risks and playing with fate as a means to intensify their feelings. Others, while less adventurous, nonetheless fantasize about being consumed in some forms of risky affairs. Fours of this variant also have a heightened need for autonomy which can make them ambivalent and fickle in relationships.

Social

Social Fours are most characterized by a feeling of shame. They like to think of themselves as completely unique and one-of-a-kind, and can alternate between feeling socially inept and disdainful of others. They are somewhat more socially engaged than the other two subtypes, often by adopting "personas" of some sort that they know are idealized versions of themselves. They also identify with alternative groups that in one way or another reinforce their outsider status. They can, however, be easily overwhelmed socially and withdraw for long periods of time. When unhealthy, Social Fours are extremely self-conscious and can have trouble with even the most casual human encounters.

Sexual

Sexual Fours are emotionally intense and express themselves through relationships and active lives. They have a competitive streak, and their emotions toward another (especially their love interests) run the gamut from total devotion to feelings of burning hatred. They don't actually hate others, rather, they feel helpless and completely lacking in power to affect change in the relationship. They are also the "face" of romantic poets and tortured artists, working in fervour on their art in between their displays of empassioned loss. They typically lead unconventional lifestyles as a kind of personal statement. When stressed, Sexual Fours express their envy more openly and can act out by hurting themselves. Ideas of suicide become comforting to them when they are at their unhealthiest place.

[edit] Overview

Ego fixation: Melancholy
Holy idea: Origin
Basic Fear: Being commonplace
Basic Desire: To be unique and authentic
Temptation: To beat themselves up and withdraw
Vice/Passion: Envy
Virtue: Equanimity
Stress/Disintegration point: Two (Emotionally-overwrought Fours become obsessive and dissatisfied like unhealthy Twos)
Security/Integration point: One (Self-actualized Fours are idealistic and progressive like healthy Ones.)

mood: Meh.